You know the common point between me getting pissed at my partner’s poor talents at washing-up and my client’s despair at being single ?
We are taking the situation personnally.
The mind’s biggest trick is to make us believe that doors in our life are locked. »I can’t » « I will never » « I don’t have the means »… are stories that are not based on reality (which we experience through our mind’s eye) but on the inner wounds we carry, that are mirrored by our mind’s attitude.
I have a wound around self-wothiness. That makes me believe that people do not pay attention to me… And so, when my partner does a veeeeeery poor job of washing the glasses (honestly, sometimes I wonder if he washed them at all…) I believe that he doesn’t pay attention to ME since it’s something I’ve told him many many many ties (like a million times, possibly).
In your opinion, does his washing-up skills have ANYTHING to do with my worthiness ?
No, right ?
It’s a bit trickier for my client, because the FIRST reason we come by to explain not having friends/ a boyfriend or girlfriend is « I’m not likeable ». Yes, we all are blindsighted by our wounds and beliefs. So, it takes a little help to make him realize that his celibacy has nothing to do with its quality. That’s my job.
It all boils down to how we interpret our circumstances based on our wounds… It’s really SO EASY to think « The Universe hates me » because all the fires were red on your way to work, you spilled your coffee, your baby is sick and you made a tear in your trousers.
The remedy is : don’t take it personnally. Anyway if you believe this was really *aimed* at you, you will suffer and overthink.
No one wants dirty dishes -or hot coffee- thrown at them ;)